Absolutely Abnormal

slob, humor, hole in tub

This is the recounting of the abnormal things, in Absolutely, our new apt.       (PP named it herself.)

First thing is the biggest.         And when I say biggest, I mean HUGE!!        Look at this pic of the front door.

slob, humor, front door
Looks like a normal door to me.

See anything wrong with it??        Look more closely.        To my shame I admit it took me over a month, before I even noticed it.           See it yet?       Once ya do, ya can’t UNsee it!

slob, humor, hinges on outside
See something wrong there??

How about now??          Have you EVER seen a front door with the hinges on the outside??        No??    Me either!!        Does the local Mafia control our housing?        Are they gonna come around asking for “insurance money” so we stay protected??        Something is going on fer sure!

It’s insanity!!      Might as well hang a sign on the door, “Free stuff!     Minimal effort required!”  Or put an ad on Craigslist with our address!

Maybe it’s just cuz the handyman who hung the door was exceptionally inept??             First day on the job, perhaps, with no prior experience??        Yeah, I’m gonna have to go to the landlord, and complain about this one!      With an enlarged photo in hand!!        (Finally did that today, 3 weeks later!!)

Other minor boo boos:

(Which in the greater scheme of things no longer really even matter, when we could come home to our door being completely missing!!)

slob, humor, crooked cabinet doors
Now this is just nit pickin’, Melinda!!

 

 

 

Gouge on tub.

slob, humor, hole in tub
How do you gouge out a hole in a porcelain tub??

slob, humor, dirty grout                                                                         Dirty, dirty!! No one used Norwex!

Dirty grout.      Hey, if they didn’t bother to scrub it completely white, that means I don’t have to either!!       Yay!       I like that one!

The last flaw doesn’t photograph very well.      But the floor in my room slopes.      2 ways.        Left to right, AND  up and down.       It  would make a really good play room for the girls to roll balls in!        If it wasn’t for the pesky bed, computer desk, nightstand, and sewing table all in the way!

Oh yeah, 1 more thing.      The nighttime hazard especially designed to try to bring me down. 

slob, humor, step down                                                                        Proof that Absolutely is a death trap.

The threshold.        Apparently my room was the rear porch originally.     Therefore, the high threshold, and the slopes.       Since I couldn’t see it at night, I had a great idea.       Paint it fluorescent pink!! 

slob, humor, pink fluorescent paint
                              Hot, hot, hot!

 

 

 

 

 

 

I thought the pink fluorescent paint would be enough of a marker for me.   

 Nope, it’s not glow in the dark!      It requires light to shine.       And 1 nightlight wasn’t enough illumination on the situation.      Happily, PopPop had 2, and that solved the problem.         Whew!

Another midnight ride to the ER averted!!

Absolutely is absolutely abnormal, but we love her!!      No ceiling leak!!  link       No mold!     No mildew!      Cheaper by $125 a month!!        AND the landlord fixes stuff within 48 hours!!       When they are told about it!!        So, we’ll see when they come rehang the door……. 


An Absolutely post.     Brought to you by an inept handyman, and dirty grout.

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