Last time when I stopped, I was talking about:
I told God I was really serious this time. Yet, here I still am, eating the Ding Dong.
(And Willow, it wan’t just one Ding Dong, it was my 4th of the day.) 🙁
Is part of it my bi-polar?? That feels like a cop out. Yet, bi-polar affects everything I do, and say. It is part of me, for better or worse. And this is part of the worst.
I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I know y’all must surely be tired of hearing me whine endlessly about it.
But doesn’t posting copiously about it mean I’m taking action steps?
C’mon, Melinda. At least be honest.
I know it doesn’t.
I’m just really at a loss here. Is it just not having enough will power?? I just hate myself, secretly?? What??
On Wed, the 4th, I went to get groceries. No sugary gluteny treats of any kind. I got salad greens, fresh spinach, carrots, cashews,
100% juice boxes for the girls, and a few other things. (Yes, including tp. Of course!! That’s a must, every time I go to the store!)
But I have to confess, I got cola drinks too. (hangs head) They were 50 cents each!! CF, of course. Why not peach?? Publix doesn’t carry peach in their store brand. I guess I need to start using one of those grocery services, that bring it out to the car, so I won’t be tempted.
Soon as I got home, I poured myself a huge glass of black cherry,
Black cherry acid! Yummy!
(Yes, that’s my trusty Tervis water bottle behind there.)
and opened the cashews. By the time I looked up, I was on my second glass, and the cashews were 80% gone. Well, at least nuts are healthy fats, right??
So, I bought salad stuff, oh yeah, and a cantaloupe, too. But the girls both love that so much, I wonder if I’ll even get to lick a rind!
(I did manage to get 1 piece before they devoured it all like a hungry locust swarm.)
Please don’t look at how much I spent on a cut up one, just because I’m too lazy to buy a whole one for $2, and wash and cut it up myself.)
But then DD1 said, “Since it’s ChunkChunk’s birthday, and I don’t feel like cooking, I’m going to get pizza. And a little cake.” Okay! It’s the baby’s birthday!
But I did only eat 3 pieces of pizza, instead of 4 or 5, that’s a victory. And I told DD1 to only give me a small piece of cake. (You should have seen the healthy chunks she gave herself, and the girls!!) I got the tiniest sliver that has ever been on my plate!! No pic, of course) So, that was a victory too. And I didn’t go get anymore later, either.
So maybe that’s the key this time, slowly cut back?? Cuz the January “Give it ALL up now!” sure didn’t last.
Yeah, and tomorrow it will be something else….