Can you see the contentment, and joy in my face??
I was in a motel for a week, to relax and rest.
Let me back up.
April 6, everything was okay. So, I went to sleep as usual.
At about 4 am, I woke up thirsty. All the lights were off, and I didn’t have my phone. Got a Coke outta the fridge. No problem so far. Then tragedy struck suddenly!
I stepped in something slick, and slid. Instant terror!! Instant anger!!
Thank God! I fell into a chair that was there.
I sat there just trembling, and red faced with terror and fear.
I was terrified that I was no longer safe in my own home.
What if I had fallen, and broken my hip?? How long would I be in hospital, then rehab??
I wasn’t safe here now. (I had fallen 3 or so weeks ago. And tripped, and slipped many, many more times.)
And I was angry that I wasn’t safe in my own home. Then I felt guilty for feeling so angry.
So, when I calmed down, I went back to bed. But I was still so upset, I began biting myself!
What?? That’s looney tunes time! Self harming is Baker Act time! People in the white coats come and haul you away time!
I felt like I couldn’t scream, cuZ that would wake up the whole house. So I was biting my hand, and thumb, to control the scream that was threatening to come out.
CuZ I knew, if I started screaming, I wasn’t gonna be able to shut up. All the terror, and anger would rush outta me like a stream of molten lava, scorching, and killing everything in its path.